Learning to forgive with Erb's Palsy / Brachial Plexus Injury
Sometimes one of the hardest things we can do as humans is forgive. I guess that’s one thing that makes us different to the rest of the animal kingdom. We often let our thoughts and emotions get the better of us. I wrote a blog about how I believe we have lost the ability to use our animal intuition, which is actually a very important thing to do. We live in our heads too much and often we are drawn into negativity.
I’m guilty of getting stressed sometimes because I can’t always see how the future is going to pan out. I’ve struggled in some past relationships because I desperately wanted it to work. It felt like I was trying to fit a square perfectly inside a circle and it just wouldn’t fit. No matter how hard I tried I failed and it was getting more and more stressful. As much as we want to understand how the world and the infinite universe works; at the moment, we simply won’t understand. Our brains can’t comprehend such a complex system and although we are capable of amazing things, somethings I think, simply can’t be explained. There are certain frequencies we can’t hear, so does that mean that there are colours we can’t see and musical notes we can’t hear? There are so many questions we could ask.
You may ask how this is relevant to #erbspalsy. The simple fact is that life is random and as much as we try to structure and understand, we may not always get the answers and we need to be totally ok with that. It’s natural to question and it’s a thing that I love to do. I love to look out at the stars and think just how small we really are. It really is insane when you actually think about it. When I’m in this state of being I feel totally connected and it makes me realise that the stresses that I have I put upon myself. The birth injury that I endured is simply one of those things.
"I completely believe that I was meant to have this injury. It has opened my eyes and heart to so many people and experiences. Some people don’t believe that things happen for a reason, but thing certainly do happen at random"
Anger is toxic
I know that I was perfectly fine in the womb and yes I know that it was “someone else’s fault.” But, you know what? I love my life. I do not feel hard done by. Do I actually thank the doctor and midwife for getting me out alive? Hell yes. Of course there are times I get frustrated with my arm, but I’d rather that than not be here at all.
We can hold so much anger towards other people and there really isn’t anything you can do about it. People make mistakes and it’s not something that was done intentionally. Ask yourself; Why would a midwife or doctor want to actually injury your baby? Don’t get me wrong it’s a catastrophic mistake, but be thankful you have a child that is alive, or if it’s you, be thankful you are here. The anger that we hold will only really be of detriment to yourself. There is no anger held by anyone that will change anything. It’s a toxic feeling that will only cause more negativity, anxiety and stress.
Forgiveness is so hard
Forgiveness can be such a hard thing to do when someone has caused harm on a loved one. But there is a difference between forgiving someone who intentionally harms you and someone who unintentionally harms you. Maybe I’m a bit naïve, but I have no issues with the people that did this to me. I’ve not known any difference in my life. I was born with it and it’s part of my identity. It’s actually a positive part of my identity. I hear more from parents who are struggling with forgiveness. My wife and I have our first child on the way and I can’t imagine how I’d feel if someone injured my son. I do get it. However, try to believe that your child will be fine. How you act and how differently you treat your child because of this injury will rub off onto them. If they grow up seeing that you believe that this is a negative thing, then they will believe it too. You are in a powerful position. Do you want your child to not forgive something that they don’t actually understand?
I know that each case is different and I really don’t want to preach. I’m sure that this article will annoy some people, but our emotions are hugely powerful and sometimes we listen to the rage that’s burning, rather than thinking objectively.
As hard as it is, sometimes we have to say that things are meant to be and accept what has happened. I completely believe that I was meant to have this injury. It has opened my eyes and heart to so many people and experiences. Some people don’t believe that things happen for a reason, but things certainly do happen at random and there is sweet F A that we can do about it. I like to think that my injury has made me a better person. I often wonder what I’d be like if I had a “normal arm” and if I’m honest I don’t really like it. Of course there’s no way to evidence that, but I know myself, I listen to my internal guidance system and it’s led me to some amazing places. I’ve learned that it’s important to let go of toxic things in my life, whether that’s people, relationships, jobs or emotions. Life is far too short to be wrapped up in negativity and anger. As far as we can prove, at the moment we only get one shot at this life. It’s so important to enjoy it and have a positive effect on others around you, as eventually that positivity will be instilled in everyone.
Much love and peace